What to Say After "Hey" on Hinge, Tinder & Bumble
Your match opened with "hey" and now it's on you. How to reply to hey on dating apps so it turns into a real conversation, with real example replies.
· 3 min read · By the Flirtly team
They matched with you, they messaged first, and the message is… "hey".
It's a good sign (they took the step) but it gives you nothing to work with. Reply "hey, how are you?" and you'll be trading "good, you?" for the next three days.
Here's how to turn a bare "hey" into a conversation worth having, with replies written by ✨ Flirtly for each situation.
Why "hey" is harder than it looks
"Hey" isn't lazy as often as people think. On Bumble, women have to message first, and "hey" is a low-risk way to start. On Hinge and Tinder, a lot of people send it because they don't know what to say either.
What it really means is: "I'm interested. Your turn to make it fun." So your reply has one job: give the conversation a direction.
The 3-part formula
A great reply to "hey" usually has:
- A light acknowledgement. "Hey yourself" or a playful nod to the one-word opener.
- Something specific about them. A photo, a prompt, their bio. This proves you actually looked.
- An easy, fun question. Ideally a choice ("this or that?") rather than something open like "tell me about yourself".
Skip any of these and you're back to small talk.
Replies that use their profile
When their profile gives you something, use it. This is the strongest move because it can't be copy-pasted to anyone else.
Both are easy to answer and both invite a story, which is what you want.
Funny replies to "heyy"
If their profile is thin, playfully teasing the minimal opener works well. Keep it warm: you're laughing with them, not at them.
Flirty replies to "hey :)"
A smiley or extra letters ("heyyy") usually means they're in a playful mood. You can match that energy.
What not to send
- "hey" or "hi" back. Now you've both said nothing.
- "How are you?" Fine in real life, a dead end on an app.
- "What's up?" Same problem. "Not much, you?"
- A paragraph about yourself. Save it. Ask about them first.
- Anything sexual. Even if their "hey" has a winky face. Let it build.
How fast should you reply?
There's no magic number. Answer when you have a good reply, not when a timer says so. Replying within a few hours keeps the momentum; replying three days later with "hey sorry, busy week" usually doesn't.
FAQ
How do you respond to "hey" from a girl on Hinge?
Acknowledge it lightly, then reference something specific from her profile (a photo, a prompt answer) and ask an easy question about it. For example, if she has travel photos, ask which trip she'd redo.
Is "hey" a bad first message on a dating app?
It's not great, but it does mean they're interested. Many people send "hey" because they don't know what else to say. Take it as an invitation to lead the conversation.
What should I say if their profile has nothing to work with?
Tease the short opener playfully, or ask a fun this-or-that question ("beach holiday or city break?"). Choices are easier to answer than open questions.
How do you reply to "hey stranger"?
"Hey stranger" usually comes from someone you've talked to before. Acknowledge the gap with humour ("I've been in witness protection, it's fine now") and ask something about what they've been up to.